Our children are like little sponges, learning about the world from the very beginning of life. Being open and receptive, they absorb messages about love and relationships by watching us. This can be a sobering thought when you consider they’re learning how to express emotions (or not!), communicate and express affection by observing you. What are your children learning in your home?
Parenthood takes on a whole new level of responsibility when you understand the influence you have on shaping your child’s understanding of love and relating. It’s very rare that we experienced healthy, balanced role models growing up that supported our understanding of intimacy. Becoming a parent gives us a powerful incentive to learn more helpful ways of relating.
How to be a healthy ‘love’ role model
The first step is becoming aware of the behaviour you learnt growing up, and being willing to make changes to experience more love and connection in your own home. This involves stepping back, taking a deep breath, and seeing yourself and your behaviour with fresh eyes.
At this point, be careful not to blame yourself or others for what you see. It’s more supportive to understand that everyone has room for growth, so have compassion for yourself and the people around you.
Learn healthy ways to express your feelings and ask for what you need. Most of us were told to sit still and be quiet growing up, and as a result it can be hard to speak up when we need to. By not communicating clearly, our relationships can break down. Misunderstanding, resentment and frustration can arise when our needs aren’t met.
If you’re feeling frazzled or angry, rather than reacting or blaming someone, take some moments to connect with how you’re feeling, and what you need. By understanding that frustrations stem from unmet needs, you can more constructively ask for what you want and move into more connection with those around you.
Find ways to do things you enjoy, and share quality time with the ones you love. As adults we can get bogged down in seriousness and responsibility, so take some time to lighten up, laugh and play. This also applies to your sex life!
Slow down and immerse yourself in pleasurable experiences. Bring more touch and affection into your daily life, rather than reserving intimacy for the bedroom. Humans are naturally sensual beings, so reclaim your natural state of fun and innocence! Children love hugs, cuddles and affection, so lighten up your home with warmth and lightness in this way.
By learning more loving, authentic ways to relate, your children can grow up with healthier self esteem, more able to express themselves and have more quality relationships in their lives.
If you desire more love and connection in your life, Brett and I invite you to join us in our online course for parents called ‘Making Love Matter’. It's for singles and couples, and you'll learn how to:
- release yourself from old patterns
- communicate more clearly and easily
- use conflict as a way to deepen understanding and presence
- enjoy more beautiful intimacy in the bedroom to enhance your life
We start on Tues, 21st April. You can see more and sign up HERE.
Immerse yourself in our world for a while. Be inspired to change the way you relate, and experience richer love in your life.
We're here to open the door to a whole new paradigm of fun, love and connection in your family. See how you can join us HERE.